I know I keep disappearing lately but my life is being turn around since January '19...
I have keep CPS/CRPS a bit hidden as is not easy to explain or to talk about it to people; so I've been diagnose with CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME/CHRONIC REGIONAL PAIN SYNDROME, this means I LIVE every second of my life with pain. There are many different ways of CPS: Osteoarthritis, Rheumatoid arthritis, Back pain also called spinal stenosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory bowel disease, Surgical trauma, Advanced cancer. CPS can be diagnosed in 1 of 7 people in the UK, can be more common in people who smoke, those older then 65, if you are a female , if you are obese or if you suffer with depression.
Takes time, and lots of test to being diagnosed, as is not easy to understand how the person in front of you is screaming of pain on the inside but outside is smiling; also because during the first 6 months of pain is called ACUTE PAIN, as our body take 6 months to heal from any injury and for the pain to disappeared in those 6 months doctors usually give you painkillers to keep the pain control, but most of the cases they will not work as the pain is so intense; if the pain still consistent and not stopping after the 6 months that is the moment when they do some test to confirm the diagnosis of CPS.
There is no cure for CPS but there are many way to help you reducing the pain, with CPS you will also feel much more stress, you struggle with sleep, you will struggle with things you used to do daily.
CPS have change my life completely, I felt like a child learning to do everything again;
I started having pain after my right hand surgery in January 2019, I thought at the beginning pain was due to the surgery process of healing but then the pain got worst and worst and never stopped even with painkillers; Pain started from top of my fingers up to my neck, when I started complaining with the doctors and the physiotherapist, but I felt that no one believed in me as I wasn't CRYING for help 24/7, after 4 months of constant pain I said to my physiotherapist, "Either someone does something to help me with the pain or I cut my finger off" that was the moment when they did listen to me and start to do something, I was booked to see my surgeon within a week and my surgeon referred me to the pain clinic, and my journey to being diagnosed started... Now I live wearing a TENS machine take painkillers daily to control the pain. As I said my life changed, Living with Chronic Pain is not easy...if you manage to sleep more then 3hrs continuously you are very lucky, the knowledge of pain will change as you learned to live and deal with it everyday your pain management level will change; in my case I keep trying to have a "normal life" even if I want to scream of pain at every minimal movement of my right arm.
The worst part of CPS is not feeling comfortable to express yourself and your pain, as you know if you complain about your pain every time you feel it people around you will get annoy of hearing you moaning, so you keep a smile on your face and you fake of being well for the outside people but inside your body is CRYING and SCREAMING "I'M IN PAIN DO SOMETHING" and you can't do anything as the last painkiller you took was only 1 hour ago and you need to wait another 5 hours for the next pill. CHRONIC PAIN is very difficult to understand until unfortunately you live with it, so if someone close to you does feel pain quite often please stay close to them because living with it and feeling lonely does not help.
Well guys I wanted to say SORRY to all of you as I keep disappearing, but due to pain is not easy at all for me to write now, but I'll do my best to keep walking with you the path of my life.
LOVE YOU LOTS, xx A.
